dear friends, i've changed my blog. please go to www.lekostenberger.wordpress.com to follow my random bloggy thoughts.

trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding

My friends make me smile. So much.

Why am I so stupid as to doubt God all the time? I would think the God of the universe would know slightly more than I would...hello Lauren, wakeup call. You don't need to know everything or to be in control of everything. Trusting God should not be this hard.

It's so weird the way God works in my life. It's like suddenly something he wants me to do appears to come up out of the blue and smack me in the face when I was least expecting it. But then I turn around and look back and I see such obvious footprints leading towards that decision that I feel like God was yelling in my ear, "Lauren! Hello, can you hear me? This is what I want you to do!" And I, oblivious, walked onward worrying about what I was going to do. So stupid. Will I ever learn?

Example: my choice of a major for college. I have struggled with this for awhile because up until about a year ago, I was headed for an English major, with maybe a minor in Creative Writing. Then everything changed, and I was stuck with heading into my freshman year undecided. I didn't feel like this was a huge problem, except for when I lay awake at night wondering about my future and if I would ever figure out what I wanted to do. That, and when a million and one people in England asked me what my major was and acted shocked when I told them I didn't know. Apparently in Europe, you have to apply not just to a university, but to a specific major. So it's unheard of to go into university without a specific major. But then around a week ago, my dad mentioned to someone that I had talked about majoring in communications a while ago. And I thought, "Oh my goodness, I did!" Then today I was telling him about the kind of things I liked to do and wanted to do in the future. And he told me, "It seems like a communications major is the obvious choice!" Bam. There we go. I have a major. I don't really have a career choice, per se, but I know my major, which is a bigger step than I thought I'd have taken by now. I am so amazed at how God works in my life even when I don't expect him to.