so much to say

I had so much to say. Now I can't remember it. For some reason thoughts entangle my mind and beg to be unraveled on paper at the most inconvenient times. Like as I turn out the light to go to bed. Or when I'm riding in the car on the way back from Florida and have no computer or pen and paper. Or at 2 a.m. And the words come perfectly only when I'm at the point of exhaustion and it's all I can do to keep my eyes open when my bed is calling my name.

I know God taught me a lot this past weekend...past week? But for the life of me I cannot remember the specifics. All I remember is drinking coffee with good friends at 3 a.m. and laughing so hard I can't believe we didn't wake anyone else up. All I remember is dancing till my feet hurt and I had to take off my high heels, driving in the rain and eating raw cookie dough. All I remember is buying $3 shirts, making plans for the summer and holding a brand new puppy. All I remember is playing the piano, the feel of people's hands, innumerable hugs and too many goodbyes. That was my weekend.

And something Lauren said. It was late, we were lying in bed and the house was quiet. We were talking about how we wished we lived nearer to each other, and she said something about how in heaven she thinks we'll all live down the road from one another. Can you imagine how amazing heaven will be? I can't, but I like to pretend I can.

I really feel like God spoils me. Not at all in a bad way though. But he gives me everything I need to live and then he gives me way more! Friends and family and an amazing summer trip to Europe and on top of that, something I never expected. I get to go to Greece! My youth group is going to Greece on a mission trip this summer, and I wanted to go from the first moment I heard about it. But then my parents told me we were going to Europe, so I of course assumed Greece was out of the question. People sent me fundraiser letters, the deadlines passed, and plane tickets were bought. I thought even if I wanted to go to Greece, it wasn't possible. But I still felt like God was calling me to go to Greece. This really is a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to Greece at a time when most of my friends are also going and in the summer right before I leave home for college. And then I had a thought...what if I flew to Greece from England? Bought my own plane tickets separately, paid the price for the trip minus airfare and met the group there? So I looked into it. I asked my youth pastor, he checked with the IWC office, talked for hours with my parents, and every door opened wide. I can't believe God is letting me do this...that he wants me to do this! I thought England, France, Austria, Germany, Switzerland and Italy were more than enough. Now God is guiding me to Greece as well? He is so amazing! I don't deserve any of this! And one of the awesome things he did was he allowed my parents' hearts to be wide open to the possibility. Not once did my mom say anything about not wanting me to fly by myself across the continent, switch planes and deal with layovers, luggage, and meeting up with the group. Not once did my dad say, "You're already going to six other European countries. Now you want to go to Greece too?" No. They looked into flights with me and were excited about the possibility of going on a mission trip that could be more serious and more life-changing than the two I've gone on before that were closer to home. And I seriously cannot wait to see what God is going to do through me and everyone else who's going!