friendship and the future

How can I even begin to describe my weekend? My life is crazy and busy and such a mess, but I love it. And I'm a graduate! Everything just feels so unreal to me right now.

You know that feeling when you wonder whether anyone really likes you for you? I wonder that sometimes, and I know I will in the future, but one of my favorite parts of graduating was that I got a bunch of cards from my friends AND my family made me a memory book with pages from all of them. And they wrote nice things to and about me, and I could tell they were not just made up because you have to write something nice inside a card. Some of the cards really made me smile. I know I'll be keeping them for awhile.

Some of my friends are graduating and going off to college, and it seems to me like their attitude is, "Oh, it was great to be friends with you during high school, but college is a whole new playing field." They think they'll go off and make new friends and easily forget those they left behind. This may just be me, but I'm different. When I become friends with someone, I'm investing in the relationship because I want it to last, not because it'll satisfy my need of friendship for a season and then I'll move on and have other friends. I know that for at least a few of my friendships, they're never going to end. We may move to faraway places and get married and change as we grow up, but we'll always be friends in some way. I mean, what else are things like Facebook and Skype and Twitter for? And at my graduation party, I looked around and felt so incredibly blessed. We had a bunch of round tables set up for people to sit and eat at, and though we kept pulling chairs up to my table and fitting in as many people as possible, I couldn't even fit all of my close friends around one table. To say I'm incredibly blessed sounds too weak. To say I have amazing friends doesn't quite make it. To say God is doing awesome things in my life....words just cannot describe the workings of a loving and omniscient God.

I have this thing about including everyone because I know what it feels like to be left out. People have intentionally excluded me and simply forgotten about me before and I remember how worthless it makes you feel. I never want to make anyone feel like that. So something I really want to do is make everyone feel welcome to join in with whatever. I think that not only does it make other people feel good to be included and loved, but it's also a good witness to unbelievers because it shows that Christians are not playing favorites or backstabbing their brothers or sisters in Christ. It's also kind of acting out the part of Christ on this earth. Jesus wants everyone to come to him. So should we.

I also have this thing about not calling one person my best friend. I think sometimes it tends to sound like "She's my best friend, so that slot's filled. I'm not looking for another best friend. If you want to be my friend, you'll have to settle for second best because we'll never be as close as she and I are." So I'll say, "she's one of my best friends" because I always have more than one and I'm always looking for more. And I don't really judge how close our friendship is by how long I've known someone. I do have a best friend who I've known basically since third grade. Her family is like the extended family I've never had. We know each other inside and out and I love her like crazy. But I also have best friends that I've only known for like a year, and I care a lot for them and trust them completely. I love having friends and getting to know people better and growing closer and encouraging one another in our faith.

The one thing I really want to be able to do, especially as in the fall I'll be living in a dorm that has a lot of freedom for visitors, is make people feel like they're always welcome, and more than welcome, wanted, at my place. If you need to get away, if you want help, if you're in town and need a place to spend the night, if you just want to come see me and hangout and have fun then my door is always open. And if you ever need a ride or someone to talk/vent to or a shoulder to cry on at 2 a.m., I'll be there. Because I really think that people are the most important thing you can ever invest in. They're the only things that are going to last forever.

I have to say something about how I felt when I saw one of the best friends I've ever had come in the door and say "I'm here!!!" when I thought she was working at Water Country up in Virginia. I honestly thought I was not going to get to see her til August, if then. And then she leaves for Argentina for a year. Even though she accidentally texted me instead of her mom when she was on her way down, I thought there was no way she could make it. So when she came running in, I was completely shocked. She loves me enough to switch her schedule at work, convince her older brother to drive her down, spend four hours in a car one day and then another four hours the next morning and miss half of Mother's Day with her mom just to see me graduate and spend even a short amount of time with me before I'm gone for the whole summer. Now that's the kind of friend I want to be.