second best

Looking at my life, the one thing I've noticed consistently is that in most relationships I have with people, I'm always relegated to second best. And by that I mean that I'm no one's best friend. And if you had a choice to hang out with me or to hang out with someone else...you wouldn't pick me.

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't stand out in a crowd. I don't do anything special. I'm not incredibly funny or friendly or wise or beautiful. I don't have really strong opinions on most things, and I can never seem to do the right thing in any situation.

So I'm equally amazed when someone thinks I'm wonderful and hurt when someone doesn't like me that much.

And it's hard sometimes to always be pushed to the back, to be forgotten, to not be especially wanted. It's harder when you know that's your life, and nothing's going to change. It's only in my down moments that I fully admit that to myself. Other times I'm overly optimistic and can convince myself that some people love me.

But that's too pessimistic. The real truth is that most people do love me - they just don't love me best. I'm always second best.

And for now, that's my life. So I live with it. After all, it is better to be loved second best than not loved at all.

Thank goodness God loves me so much more than second best!

When people can't manage to make time for me, I remember that God is always ready to listen. When I don't have anyone to call when I have a broken heart, I remember that God is the only one who will always be there for me. When someone promises they'll call me but my phone never rings, I remember that God always keeps his promises. When everyone else is together having fun, but they forgot to invite me, I remember that God chose me to spend eternity with him.