start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve.

When I was little I thought it was the most amazing thing that people would fall in love with someone...and that someone would love THEM, out of the 6.7 billion people on earth, back! I thought, what were the odds of that happening? In my opinion, that had to be one of God's coolest jobs. I could see him sitting up there in heaven with lists of names drawing lines to connect couples. "Yes - and she'd be perfect for him. They'll be so happy together. And this couple can do so much for me together!"

I also pictured the incredible joy and surprise when someone found out that their true love loved them. That wonderful feeling of complete shock and deep happiness and wanting to dance around the room but at the same time wanting to stay wrapped in their arms. Because now, all the doubts were gone. And they knew for certain that they were in love.

I was a very idealistic child.

But as I grew up and many of my friends started dating and going through the whole date-breakup-make up-just friends cycle, I noticed something. Practically all of my friends would like someone because they knew that person liked them. They were assured of having their love returned. It was safe to fall in love because they knew they would be caught. There were no surprises. How disappointing to the kid that I used to be!

It would make sense, then, that I would be the backwards girl and like someone who wouldn't like me. It's hard to decide if you should give up your ideal for a safe love - "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," right? But, to some extent, you can't control your feelings. And you definitely don't want to "settle for less than God's best." It's complicated.

So for now all I'm praying is that God will guard my heart and that I'll be sure when decision-making time has arrived. I know he'll be with me through this roller-coaster ride of emotions and will make sure that I arrive safely at the end of the journey.